LTTP: Horrible/Great Anime

There are few things that upset me like rhetorical questions and being picky about food. There are even fewer things that will make me rage with the fury of ten suns like people paying for cigarettes with food stamps or  rape jokes. Yet, NOTHING makes me an uncontrollable ball of rage like shitty anime and the fans who adore them.
DO NOT GET ME WRONG: Success is a beautiful thing and must be noted and learned from. Also, what people love is totally their own thing.
I am simply pointing out why anime is hated by most people and give a bad name to actual good shows.
First: Most likely, the main music theme is a mix between the shittiest kids bop anthem and what can only be called 'Engrish Cher Song'.
Let us look at some examples. The show Full Metal Alchemist has about 50 iterations/spin-offs and is beloved by tons of fanboys. Yeah, I'll admit, it has an interesting world that I would like to see stories in but as soon as I hear...

....Fuck you, anime! Really?! That's what you are going to open your show with? A complete in-one-ear-out-the-other pop song with some butt-rock guitar thrown in? Its almost like if Star Wars opened with a Miley Cyrus song.
It doesn't stop with the theme either. Look up any song related to FMA and your bound to find a song identical with the one above or another laced with violins and harpsichord.
Compare: Cowboy Bebop:

That is an opening. No pretentious montage of characters looking out windows or surrounded by birds. It screams with style (A trait sorely missed in ALL mediums not just anime).
Second:
Dear Anime,
Please stop with the contrived 'Untill Next Time' episode ending.
Love,
Owen.
Seriously guys, a season of Dragon Ball Z would be 85 episodes long, center around one fight and be released on 52 VHS tapes. There are about 93 seasons. Do the math, it's exploitation.
Compare: FLCL. It has a complete story, memorable characters and takes place in only 6 episodes. Granted, they were released 2 episodes to a DVD back in the day but that's a waaaay better bang for you buck than anything Inuyasha ever put out.
Third: Convoluted does not a good story make. Bleach, YuYuHakusho, Inuyasha, Naruto, Evangelion, Gundam Wing and countless others fall prey to the allure of 'mystery is good story'. Hell, the show Lost is the worst offender of this principle (If you need a IRL example). These also are guilty of characters being stuck in 3 or 4 love triangles.
Compare: Death Note is the best supernatural mystery drama ever. Dr. Who? Go suck a dick. X-Files? Outta my life. Fringe? Not even.
Death Note creates a world of rules and then creates an intricate cat-and-mouse mystery within that world. Yes, it's silly, melodramatic and lame in parts but what good sci-fi/fantasy isn't?
Quadly: Stupid episode titles. Inuyasha is the worst offender with such gems as: "The Girl Who Overcame Time... and the Boy Who Was Just Overcome", "Possessed by a Parasite: Shippo, Our Worst Enemy!" and "A Strange Invisible Demon Appears!"
Finaly: Fans.

You've seen this guy. Maybe half-remembered or perhaps instantly forgotten. These are the people who not only watch and appreciate anime; they worship it. They model their life philosophies around them.

They write fan fiction where the main character fucks that one cat seen only for a split second in the unreleased pilot deleted scene. 47 chapters.

Sure, there are obsessive fans for everything. Anime fans, however, have no idea they are ridiculous. And they have no idea they are flaunting that they love a show reeking with pedophilia.
How do I know? I used to be one. Yes I was a card toting, praise shouting Cowboy Bebop fan. Though not the worst thing you could be a fan of, I was the kid who wore the imported shirt to school, said things like 'See you, Space Cowboy' instead of 'goodbye' and jerked off to Faye while wondering why girls didn't like me.
Guys, watch Death Note.

Not so LTTP: Gravity Falls

I know this is out of character for the blog: reviewing something so new, but this show is so good must be enjoyed...NOW!
Gravity Falls is a new half-hour animated show from the Disney Channel. Beautifully drawn and cleverly written, it is easily my favorite show of this year.
The show follows the misadventures of Dipper and Mabel Pines while they spend the summer with their eccentric Grunkle (Great Uncle) Stan. Grunkle Stan owns the Mystery Shack, a touristy roadside attraction filled with various obscurities which often lead to supernatural shenanigans.

Unlike other shows like Adventure Time, which seems to revel in its being weird for the sake of weird, Gravity Falls has a more guided weirdness about its writing. Usually only one element of each episode has a tinge of paranormal all the while sprinkling the background with objects that refer to previous episodes. Almost like Arrested Development in that way.
Also what stands Gravity Falls out from other shows of its ilk is that each show is one story. Most cartoons are broken up into two 15 minute short stories. I'm not sure if it really needs to be that long but this format does allow for deeper exploration of minor characters and story. It is also pretty formulaic and each episode ends like Scooby-Doo with a villain swearing revenge on the two heroes.
If you are a fan of animation then all you have to see is the opening theme from the show.

The frame work is amazing. It has become really hard to watch an episode of Family Guy after seeing how good this is drawn.

If you can only catch one episode make it #4 'The Hand that Rocks the Mabel.' It has singing, adorable characters and an over-the-top story.


If I haven't sold you, I know that just did! Go DVR it now!