LTTP: WWF ROYAL RUMBLE

It's Christmas morning 1993 and you're hoping that ol' Saint Nick got you a video game. You've already played Mario Kart so much for the last year that you know the Rainbow Road theme by heart.  The next present you open with fingers crossed, wishing, praying that underneath the wrapping paper is Zelda: A Link to the Past, hell, you might even settle for ClayFighter! Anything! The wrapping paper on the floor you stand staring, befuddled, shocked, because in your hand you hold the lamest looking SuperNES box ever. Six chuds in neon leather and tank tops are posing/staring back at you as if to mock your misfortune. You hold WWF Royal Rumble. Que, the fake smiles to appease your parents' misguided ideas of what makes a good video game.
That was me in back in '93. I know, I know why is this dude bashing a wrestling video game on a wrestling blog? Well, don't fret, this piece is actually a letter expressing my love to Royal Rumble.  It is a love made even deeper by my initial disdain for the game. I had judged a book by it's cover and I had been proven wrong. Royal Rumble is easily one of the best wrestling games ever made and I pose that it is one of the best games for the SuperNES console.  It was also the video game that got me interested in the WWF.
What made the game so good? Let's start with the first thing that got me to love this game, the simple addictive game play. You basically had three opening gambits to attack an opponent: 1. Run at, then drop-kick. This strategy rarely worked unless your target was stunned. 2. Grapple. This would bring up a power bar and allow you to throw or slam and again would work better on a weakened opponent. 3. Choke or face-rake. This was a dirty and unfair tactic, yet the best way to slow down a fresh enemy. However, despite 'NO HOLDS BARRED ACTION!' being on the front of the damn box, those moves were barred until you knocked out the referee. There was also a pretty cool clothesline mechanic that was often hard to pull off but very rewarding.
The game's sound design was, how do you say? Charming? The wrestlers did have their own themes songs on the character selection screen and that's about as good as it got.  Once the match started the music stopped and the crowd began to 'cheer.' By 'cheer' I mean sound like the ambient noise you hear when you put your ear up to a large sea shell. Combine that with the same sound effects for every wrestler and the game sounds like a doctor's office during cold season. Just close your eyes and listen:

I mean come on guys! People are still making good music on the SNES sound card!
With sound being the probably the worst part of the game, the roster was where this game hit gold.
ROSTER HIGHLIGHTS: Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Crush, Razor Ramone, The Undertaker, Randy Savage and Hulk Ho-.... Wait no, Hulk Hogan was only on the Sega Genesis! Talk about what NintenDON'T! However, this the trade off was pretty good when you find out the SNES had exclusives like Ric Flair, Yokozuna and Mr. Perfect.  The Genesis was stuck with Jim Duggan and Papa Shango. Yeah, they can keep Hogan.
As I fell in love with this game and started watching WWF events more often I grew to adore that stupid SNES box. I mean look at it.

Shawn Michaels looks like a back-up dancer to Lady Gaga.  Razor Ramone could not be greasier, and even before I knew that Photoshop existed I new that chair was shopped into Mr. Perfect's hands.
So, all said, WWF Royal Rumble made me a wrestling fan and was definitely a big part of my childhood.

This is a re-post of an article I did for  http://www.hipsquaredcircle.com/ A site dedicated to the hardcore wrassle'n fan, go check them out while I pound out some original material!