LTTP: Double Dragon (Movie)

Double Dragon, the video game was a two player side-scrolling beat em' up that did have one cool feature; at the end of the game you could turn on and beat up the other player who had been fighting with you the entire time.  Friendships were ruined by this game, brother took up arms against brother and it was awesome. Double Dragon the movie however, is an obvious attempt to cash in on the 'ninja craze' of the early 90's (Ninja Craze is a made-up term, so don't look it up) and had nothing to do with the seven year-old game. I get it, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was hotter than hot and 3 Ninjas actually made money at the box office despite critical scrutiny. So, take a franchise with a recognizable name add ninjas, boom! Instant money.

I the dark dystopian and far off future of Los Angeles of 2007 Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf play brothers Jimmy and Billy Lee. Go ahead and reread that,'brothers.' No they are not adopted or from different mothers, blood relations.

Brothers my ass

These 'brothers' find out that their guardian has been keeper of a secret medallion that has been broken in two, she keeps one half on herself and the other 'Somewhere in China.' Their guardian is played by Julia Nickson who holds the honor of being the only Asian lady who doesn't look 20 years younger than she actually is. Robert Patrick plays the villain. Just imagine his T1000 role in Terminator 2 only waaaaay gayer. Abobo, a infamous boss in the Double Dragon video game is played by Nils Allen Stewart. Really nothing interesting about that other than he has the coolest IMBD pictures ever. 

And what was it about early 90's that every video game movie had to be filmed on the set of Blade Runner? What really boggles my mind is that Double Dragon was made after the terrible Super Mario Bros movie. So this means that some people had a meeting and the following conversation ensued: 'Johnson? Do you know that really shitty Super Mario movie?' 'Oh, you mean the one that failed miserably?' 'Yes, that one. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?' 'Lets make the same damn movie?' 'Yes!' Both laugh in unison as they do a line of coke and slam a Crystal Pepsi.

I will say, I was surprised to see some -before the were famous- actors in the film, Alyssa Milano and Andy Dick to name a couple. 

The movie is on Netflix and I must say, as a child of the 90's, is worth the watch if only for a few laughs and groans of nostalgia.

And to take us out, Robert Patrick as the most gender confused villain ever.

I wear black on the outside because that's how I FEEEEL on the inside!

2010's Horror Flick 'Let Me In'

Sometimes a film comes along and when I first see it I love it. Upon seeing it again and/or thinking about it, I end up hating it. A phenomon called 'The Inception Effect'. However, for every rule, there is an exception. When I first saw 'Let Me In' I did not like it. Now I think I love it.

First a little background.

'Let Me In' is a re-make of 'Let the Right One In' from 2008. It was good and campy, but mostly violent and sexually driven (See 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' for reference on northern European film maker's preference towards the latter two. My last post has my theories as to why they have the preference.).
Before you look up the trailer, I say DON'T! unless you have seen the movie. The trailer practically spells out the twist which is the best part of the movie. Again, DO NOT WATCH THE TRAILER BEFORE SEEING THE FILM!!! I don't think enough people are going to see it but by the Anon Internet Rules I must abide:


SPOILER ALERT!!!!



The plot is that 'Owen', a young outcast amongst his peers, meets a strange quiet girl named 'Abby' whom has just moved in next door. They form a relationship over the course of a couple of weeks as a string of murders hit the small town in which they live.


This (spoiler free) premise leads to the most awesome -American- movie trailer ever. Observe.


It's like they're having a whisper battle.

Yeah. You wanna watch it right now though don't you? Well go do it. And yeah, it does have Casey Jones from the original TMNT movie. So you know it's gonna rock. Well, he was also in 2002's 'Simone' and that was horrible, just horrible. However, it didn't have an awesome trailer either.



Review:
As Owen and Abby interact more and more not only do you get tired of Kodi Smit-McPhee's constant not-quite-a-whisper-but-not-louder-than-an-inside-voice delivery of Owen's lines, you get tired of Chloe Moretz's she-must-have-aspergers performance of the character Abby. Only half-way through the movie do you begin to understand Abby as a character and why she acts that way. Far too late in the movie. In the original you find out very early that Abby is connected with the supernatural and begin to doubt her relationship with her 'guardian' played very well by Richard Jenkins.

Also, you'll notice that Owen's mother's face is never shown. This creates a feeling that Owen is truly alone in his world. This explains his whispering as a result of him not talking much and his natural passiveness. But, you don't catch on to this subtle use of camera angles until later in the movie.

Then something amazing happens (For those who haven't seen the original or the trailer). All these elements come together and the former annoyances make sense. Also, your mind is blown.

You find out that Abby is training Owen to be her next guardian because she is an immortal vampire! I know right? How rad is that?

So most of you probably figured it out earlier than I did because I was way to drawn into how the film lo- OH MY GOD RICHARD JENKINS IS A PEDOPHILE!11!!!!

Ok, Richard Jenkins isn't but the character is a pedophile. It's almost app- OH MY GOD! THIS IS LOLITA WITH A VAMPIRE!!!!11!!
Yes, it is that awesome.

'Let Me In' is best movie adaptation of 'Lolita' ever. The film shows so much restraint with the original work (Lolita) and by not throwing it in your face, the point comes across gracefully.

That point being; Love is a sickness. An obsession. By making Abby a vampire, the film expands on this to point of saying love is supernatural. The movie, like the book, also plays on the idea of who is acctually in control of the relationship between Abby (Lolita) and The Father (Humbert Humbert).

Advertising for this movie was minimal. I barely remember seeing the trailer back in October. I was even more surprised when I saw it in the video store. The lack of advertising has its pros and cons. Pro: If you just out of nowhere saw this movie without prior knowledge -and have read 'Lolita'- then you should love this movie. Con: Nobody saw it.
Pro: The trailer and movie poster are awesome:
How rad is that?

Con: The trailer gives away too much story.


Ultimately, I was not impressed as I was watching it or even right after watching. It wasn't until thinking about it all day that I can't wait to watch it again. I love this film. You may not love it but it is worth a rent.