Top Games of 2012

10. Frog Fractions

This is an educational game that teaches you about fractions. Or is that all there is? I really can't say anymore without ruining the reveals. It's free, go play it and get lost in those fractions. http://twinbeardstudios.com/frog-fractions

9. Cart Life

A truly unique game that -at its core- is a retail sim (In fact, that's what the official website touts it as). What it does so well is that the world and characters around that sim are real and affecting. Also, its free! Go download at http://www.richardhofmeier.com/cartlife/

8. Journey
The first time I played this I was enthralled with its style and its beauty. The simple game play is easy to grasp and it's not hard at all. Though, I wondered why so many people were praising this as more than just a good game. Then I met another player and my entire game changed. Its cheap (But only on the PSN) and can be picked up in a bundle with Flow and Flower for the PS3.

7. Hitman: Absolution
KILL ALL SEXY NUNS!!!!11!1! That might be all the news you've heard about this game but please look past the media hype and give it a play. It is very pretty and it's easily the most populated world Agent 47 has ever stalked. You are going to notice that I don't really care about graphics as much as I care about game systems and how they interact through emergent gameplay. On that front, Hitman delivers abundantly.
There was a worry that the game was moving away from it's Blood Money roots but Square has made the best Hitman yet. And oh my goodness is it a looooong game (Perhaps a little too long), well worth whatever they're asking for a copy. http://hitman.com/

6. 10000000

Easily my surprise hit of this year, 10000000 can almost be described (in a reductive manner) as Bejeweled with mana and hit-points. Throw-back graphics and music give it a nostalgic feel in a very charming way. Simple and quick game play will have you hooked and thinking 'Just one more game.' I probably have spent longer on the john than I would've because of this game.

5. Call of Duty: Black OPS 2
To start: this is the first COD I have ever played. Oh I've been aware of it's phenomenal impact on the games industry and have actually followed some really good players on YouTube. So why now? Why Black OPs 2?
1. I finally have reliable high-speed internet (Welcome to the 21st century).
2. I have been hearing that this is the best COD in a very long time.
So why not give it a shot? Know what I found out guys? It has a very addictive and great multiplayer game system they have going for them. The 'Pick-Ten' system is brilliant and I felt like I was getting better with each game. And for all those who complain about the online community being annoying and full of racist, homophobic 12 year olds.... you're so right guys! It's almost like I'm playing with the entire congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church. Luckily, there is a mute button.

4. Dishonored

This game is a mixture of Half-Life 2, Theif, Bioshock and Deus Ex. So, naturally, I love it. It features an open level design, filled with multiple game systems and endless options limited only by the player. If you can get through the first lackluster hour of the game, you'll soon find that you are in a very special game that just begs to be replayed over and over.

3. X-COM: Enemy Unknown
A remake of a hardcore turn-based strategy PC-only cult classic that's actually better when played with a controller? A bunch of hooey and applesauce I say!
I am eating my own hat on this one guys. The game is deep, engaging and deceptively simple. And hard. I mean 30 hours into your play-through and you will just lose hard. Perma-death hard. Yet ,with its difficulty comes a many great rewarding moments and holy-shit-did-I-just-pull-that-off close calls.

The game also allows you to rename and customize the look of every individual squad member. Though at first this seems fun and cute but as you'll soon find out, if a squadie dies, he/she is gone forever. So exercise caution when naming your heavy after your Gram-Gram. 

2. Mass Effect 3
At first I was upset that ME3 seemed to neuter my bad-ass renegade fem-shep. Then, I realized that the writing was so good that I felt conflicted going completely 'bad-guy' in my choices.
This, coupled with improvements to the battle system made the game better (Though I still think ME2 is the best in the trilogy).
Where this game got me were the moments of despair I felt with the endings to certain characters. Also this game received a ton of flack for it's ending and I will admit I wasn't too impressed with it at first either. Then I read about the indoctrination theory and (I don't care if BioWare has denied it as canon) I felt completely satisfied and honestly think it's the coolest thing a video game has ever done.
The games have recently been released in a trilogy bundle (Even on the PS3) so go play them and experience the best game trilogy this generation.

'I am the very model of a scientist Salarian....'

  *SOBS*

1. FarCry3
After loading up my game I stepped out of my little hut startling a herd of Water Buffalo. As they were running away, a tiger pounced out of the bushes and tackled one of the Buffalo into a passing jeep full of pirates. Though the pirates were knocked out of the jeep, it kept going full speed into a tree, flipped over and promptly exploded causing a forest fire that not only killed said pirates but also the herd of buffalo and the tiger. All because I stepped outside.
I cannot describe how fun it is to exist in the FarCry3 world with all of its systems.
The story starts out in an oddly hilarious poke at the 'Bros' featured in most video games. I mean, to gain power your character gets a tribal tattoo. How obvious do I need to be? In this way I was enjoying story enough but then it makes a turn. A bad turn.
Despite the crappy story stuff, I love the world of FC3. I am addicted to every aspect. Whether it's disarming radio towers, collecting letters, finding relics, killing a shark to make a wallet that holds more money (Trust me, you'll understand) or clearing out a pirate stronghold with nothing but a rock and a pack of rabid dogs.

This picture is only worth one word: 'VIDEOGAMES'

Article Headers

Since I'm quite sure most of these will never see the light of day otherwise, I am posting some article banners I made for HipSquaredCircle.com. I am, perhaps unfortunately, in love with these and I just need to get them out on the web. So.....ENJOY!

My personal favorite.

LTTP: Skate (Videogame) and maybe a little Trainspotting (Book)

There are some innovations in video gaming that make you wonder how we got along before them. Often, these innovations are closely tied to a certain game as well.  Duel stick controls were introduced by Halo. Resident Evil 4 perfected the over-the-shoulder 3rd person shooter. Innovations that you can remember feeling so right, even though you've never seen them before.
The original Skate released by EA in 2007 is one of these games. In Skate, instead of pushing a button or buttons to perform a trick, the game has you flicking, holding and twisting the right control stick in specific ways to even perform a simple kick-flip. This may not seem amazing but you have to remember that in 2007 the popular Tony Hawk series of skating videogames had been annually released since 1999. Basically owning a monopoly on the market and by 2005 the quality of the games began to fade immensely. EA saw the perfect opportunity to get into the fray and pick up the fans tired of the Tony Hawk formula. To do that they had to set themselves apart from the button mashing repetitiveness of the Hawk games and innovate. They did just that.
See, in the the Hawk games, your character had a certain set of tricks. You would only be able to perform harder tricks by 'unlocking' them by completing challenges that you may or may not want to do. What I find so amazing about the Skate series is that all of the tricks in the game are available to you the moment you start. The challenge comes from learning and mastering the complicated control scheme.
I know this is going to sound corny but, when I first played Skate I felt like the experience was analogous to learning how to actually skateboard. I was learning a new set of movements and I got better at performing the simple moves. Then at some point you stop thinking about what to do with your hands to perform a trick and you just do them.
I liken it to reading Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh. Written in Scottish dialect, Trainspotting, is hard to read at first. Then, almost without warning, the dialect clicks in your brain and then you cannot imagine the book being written any other way. The book takes all the rules you learned from years of reading English as it was meant to be read and throws them out the window. Now, not only have you tricked your brain into thinking/reading in a Scottish accent, it gives you a deeper connection with the fiction. Skate does the same thing. After learning for the better part of a decade from Hawk how to play skateboarding games, Skate comes along and teaches your brain to think on a whole other physical level.
I recommend both Skate and Trainspotting to anyone.
Also, Skate may have the best bail physics ever.



Literally days of my life gone to replaying spectacular bails.

LTTP: WCW vs. NWO: Revenge!

This story begins on a dark and stormy night. The place is Atlanta, Georgia and the year is 1998. A tractor trailer drives down a lonely, dusty road. Ahead, something goes up in flames! A man in dark clothes and a baseball bat stands in the middle of the road! The semi can do nothing but slam the breaks halting only inches from the face of...Sting (The wrestler, not the singer)! The driver is visibly distraught as a poorly voice-acted 'WUUUT?!' escapes his lips. Fade to black and cue the music.
This is the opening cinematic to THQ/AKI's WCW vs NWO: Revenge in 1998. This blew my mind the first time I saw it. It impressed me so much, in fact, that I called my father (A man who to this day disdains video games) into my room and said "Still think all video games are stupid? Well look at this!' My dad watched the cinematic, obviously unamused, looked at me, then to my Michael Jackson cardboard cut-out and my Theodore Rex movie poster, sighed with disappointment, simply said 'Yes, I do.' and left the room.
Now that my far too personal issues are out of the way we can talk about this amazing game. As you may remember it was a sequel to WCW vs. NWO: World Tour. It had only come out a year prior to  Revenge and introduced the best grappling system ever created. One major problem with World Tour; It looked like crap. Or perhaps the game was secretly sposered by Play-Doh, so therefore all the wrestlers had to look like they were made of it. I think THQ thought this game could use a major face-lift and put out Revenge.
And what an improvement it was. Everyone on the roster had a detailed model with characteristics that made each one different from the other. Except for Eric Bishoff's model, it was pure garbage.  So lets talk about this awesome looking roster. There were so many wrestlers to choose from.

NWO White/Red, WCW 1-4, Raven's Flock and a couple to made up factions to shove Japanese wrestlers in there. Some roster highlights: Eddy Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Hollywood Hulk, Bret Hart, Macho Man, Goldberg, DDP, British Bulldog ect, ect, ect. Roster Worsts: Eric Bischoff.
In addition to the grapple system, Revenge added the spirit meter. This meter showed you just how pumped your wrestler was. When your meter was full you could strong grapple into your wrestler's special move by wiggling the N64 toggle stick. If the meter was low, there was a good chance you would get pinned or tap out. Interesting note; Revenge was one of the few N64 games that had you hold the controler at the 9 and 3 postitions and not the more common 6 and 3. Also, just for fun, do  you know what wrestler could not make full use of the revolutionary grapple system? Eric Fucking Bischoff.
You could also pull weapons out of the crowd. Chairs, bats, trashcans (My favorite.), mallets and trashcan lids. There was a fine art to using the weapons however. If you used them sparingly your spirit meter would rise and the crowd would cheer. Relentlessly pummel someone and the crowd would turn on you causing your meter to fall. There were some wrestlers who had some special advantages when it came to weapons. LaParka always starts with a chair and Dake Kim would always pull a wooden mallet from the crowd.
There two things this game did not do well and I'm finding is a problem with most wrestling video games. First, look at that box.

No, YOU were supposed to bring the buns, Brother!

 Are they arguing in a sauna? No wait, they were Photo-shopped into one. Someday they'll figure out how to make a good looking box. Also, note Raven's Sandman shirt, Neil Gaiman must have loved the free advertising for his comic. Considering Revenge ultimately sold just under 2 million copies, that's a lot of eyes on your overrated comic. (Comic nerd rage)
Secondly, the music just sucks. Imagine the worst dub-a-wub-a butt rock you can, put it on infinite loop and then try not to go insane.
There is so much more to this game but I feel I've already rambled too long. All I'm going to say is you have the means, buy a N64 and play this game. Sure, later games have more features, modern wrestlers, no Eric Bischoff and create you own wrestler modes. None of them hold a candle to this game. Sadly, with developers more interested in better graphics over game-play and THQ barely able to keep its head above water, we may never seen one like it again.

This article was originally posted on www.hipsquaredcircle.com a site dedicated to the modern wrestling fan! Go check them out!

LTTP: Double Dragon (Movie)

Double Dragon, the video game was a two player side-scrolling beat em' up that did have one cool feature; at the end of the game you could turn on and beat up the other player who had been fighting with you the entire time.  Friendships were ruined by this game, brother took up arms against brother and it was awesome. Double Dragon the movie however, is an obvious attempt to cash in on the 'ninja craze' of the early 90's (Ninja Craze is a made-up term, so don't look it up) and had nothing to do with the seven year-old game. I get it, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was hotter than hot and 3 Ninjas actually made money at the box office despite critical scrutiny. So, take a franchise with a recognizable name add ninjas, boom! Instant money.

I the dark dystopian and far off future of Los Angeles of 2007 Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf play brothers Jimmy and Billy Lee. Go ahead and reread that,'brothers.' No they are not adopted or from different mothers, blood relations.

Brothers my ass

These 'brothers' find out that their guardian has been keeper of a secret medallion that has been broken in two, she keeps one half on herself and the other 'Somewhere in China.' Their guardian is played by Julia Nickson who holds the honor of being the only Asian lady who doesn't look 20 years younger than she actually is. Robert Patrick plays the villain. Just imagine his T1000 role in Terminator 2 only waaaaay gayer. Abobo, a infamous boss in the Double Dragon video game is played by Nils Allen Stewart. Really nothing interesting about that other than he has the coolest IMBD pictures ever. 

And what was it about early 90's that every video game movie had to be filmed on the set of Blade Runner? What really boggles my mind is that Double Dragon was made after the terrible Super Mario Bros movie. So this means that some people had a meeting and the following conversation ensued: 'Johnson? Do you know that really shitty Super Mario movie?' 'Oh, you mean the one that failed miserably?' 'Yes, that one. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?' 'Lets make the same damn movie?' 'Yes!' Both laugh in unison as they do a line of coke and slam a Crystal Pepsi.

I will say, I was surprised to see some -before the were famous- actors in the film, Alyssa Milano and Andy Dick to name a couple. 

The movie is on Netflix and I must say, as a child of the 90's, is worth the watch if only for a few laughs and groans of nostalgia.

And to take us out, Robert Patrick as the most gender confused villain ever.

I wear black on the outside because that's how I FEEEEL on the inside!